When Marketing Writes A Cheque That Supply Chain Can't Cash

OK, so we live in an era of immediate gratification, irrespective of urgency or need. Welcome to the omnichannel deluge of "I can name that tune in two notes" aka same-day/next-day/two-day delivery. Hey, retailers and carriers, we didn't ask for this; you shoved it down our chimneys. btw, now that we have it, don't even think about taking it away—if you value a future in B-to-C commerce.

The stage now set, it is time for disclosure. Mijn vrouw, with me as a willing accomplice, is more or less addicted to one particular online merchant. To protect the innocent let's call it Amazing Prime. Price—whether simply acceptable or jaw-droppingly compelling—aside, the speed and reliability of shipment is stunning—the ultimate differentiator. On rare occasions, we'll risk straying a bit from the true path. There are options—ToomuchStock, Jetspress, Gurgle, any number of traditional merchants trying to look cool for the Millennials.

Thus it was a couple of weeks ago, when we found the perfect birthday present for grand-daughter, La Diva. The source was, we now regretfully report, a largish retailer which won't be named, but which carries the fortunes of an entire state of somewhere in SEC territory with it. Their web site boldly promoted two-day delivery (and a simply amazing price) for the object of our desire, a standard item from an industry leader, available at several prices from 'most every retailer in the nation (including Amazing). So we caved, and ordered from the "X"-Mart, whose name we dare not speak aloud.

In this case, the two-day shipment was important, given a birthday target, but there was plenty of slack in the timeline. No problem. Except there was, and is, a problem. The item, per the parcel carrier's tracking, arrived in our fair city two days later than the shipment promise indicated. It may still be there—or not. Or, perhaps it never arrived.

A week after the birthday, "X"-Mart had no explanation for the failure, where the item really was, or what might be done about it—nor any backup plan to get a replacement item to us. Further, they could not make a delivery commitment.

Look, Lord of the Wings, if you're gonna play with the people who actually know what they're doing, you're gonna have to up your game. Maybe your target demographic, as lampooned in numerous YouTube shorts, thinks this is splendid. But the more desirable consumer is not going to hunker down in the ol' double-wide and wait for a bargain to show up some sweet day.

And that customer, not handicapped by genetically derived intellectual limitations, will not be satisfied with non-answers to tough questions, such as, "Where is it?" Or, "What happened, and when will it be here?"

This has been frustrating on many levels, not least coughing and looking away when the grand-daughter comes to visit (two or three times a week). That the planet's largest retailer couldn't satisfactorily ship an in-stock item in the time that I could have walked to Cupertino, bought one, and walked back is a pitiful indictment. Maybe the elephant is too big to dance.

Hello, Amazing! We're back!